Crônica

That whole family thing and everything… nephews, chaos, video games, soccer… having nephews is truly a delight—or rather, it’s the key to “your” freedom.
If your sister and brother-in-law live in your house—or out back (lol)—you’ll finally enjoy some freedom!!!! Free—free from the daily grind! Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité! Banzai!!!.... You’ll never again have to go to the bakery, the corner bar, pick up documents, go to the bank, or deliver gifts or blackmail-worthy treats to your relatives or girlfriends… have you ever thought about that?
Just say: “Pedrinho” (always use the diminutive because it goes straight to the heart), well then, - Pedrinho, go to the bakery for Uncle.... and he, in exchange for a candy or two, will happily head over to Uncle Zé’s bar, to Mrs. Maria’s bakery.... That is, if you’re poor… if you’re rich, then he’ll go to the Cinco Estrelas bakery, Rotisserie la Finesse…
But anyway, what matters is that your profit and satisfaction are guaranteed in both cases: while you’re lying on the couch watching a movie and having a beer, the world works for you! Or rather, walks for you!!
If you have kids, you can do the same. Of course, in that case, the guilt is much less—after all, he’s your son!!!... and heck, they did this to you throughout your entire childhood, and now it’s your turn; history is cyclical and has to repeat itself—poets know this all too well—it’s always the same game..... and if you don’t do it, you’ll be breaking the natural cycle of the universe... lol.
But of all the pleasures—whether unconscious or not—the greatest is being a hypocrite: “You have to get good grades, behave yourself, that boy has to get a job!”, “Back in my day,” and so on... Let’s face it, you were that little devil—the one who didn’t study, the troublemaker who plotted little pranks on your little friends or teachers, laughing when they all fell flat on their faces, stumbled into your traps, and so on..... (How kids haven’t destroyed the world yet is beyond me!... It must be because of God!) And if you weren’t like that—a real rascal—and you’ve repented, admit it.
Of course, there’s the downside to living together—and the possible little instances of exploitation and blackmail: they never do the dishes; it’s always you… but think about the other chores they do: they haul sand for your little shack if you’re poor, they wash your fancy car if you’re rich, or if you’re poor and have deprived yourself of all life’s pleasures to own a cheap little car—those ridiculous symbols of capitalism and the country’s “progress”.... those ridiculous little cars of capitalism..... There’s more: they brighten up the house if you’re depressed, for rich and poor alike...., they take jabs at that relative you don’t like and don’t have the courage to tell: “Is that a wig? Your boyfriend is such a bore! Hey, auntie, what animal would you like to be—a snake?” And everyone forgives him because he’s a kid and doesn’t know what he’s saying, and you: “Don’t do that anymore, it’s rude!”... Come on, we both know it’s the opposite—no one forgives a thing because that little dig hurts their feelings, and you’re loving every minute of it...
If you drive a budget car, don’t take offense, but get up off that couch right now and do something about it—go for a walk, you couch potato!!! If you drive a really fancy car, you don’t need to—it’s justifiable. After all, it’s worth sacrificing your health for that machine! Haha!!!
And at the dinner table on Sundays, everyone treats each other well, grateful to one another and with that warm family feeling in their hearts and all.....
But of all these delights, the most absurd is sending the poor kid to the bar to buy you those cigarettes… after a few years, the little nutcase shows up too, with that big cigarette in his mouth and a rocker T-shirt, acting all crazy… I wonder why? But everyone sends kids out to do this, every kid goes, every bar owner sells them, and every authority figure pretends not to see it—after all, every TV station advertises the devil’s smoke—just a reminder: a TV channel is a public concession, so the service must be of benefit to the community... Now, how advertising for a carcinogenic product could possibly help society is something I just can’t imagine!
And it’s always the nephew, never the niece—after all, women are always smarter than men..... believe it or not.... women are cats, men are dogs..... but that’s a topic for another conversation.... Les femmes… the important thing is that even if the world is weighing down on you right now, there’s someone there to help carry it… Let’s mingau!!! lol.
And despite all that, I still miss those days—Dérim’s bar, Mr. Zé Gabrié’s ice cream shop, which sold only four flavors: lemon, pineapple, plum, and coconut… and the grumpier the bar owner was—all trippy, disheveled… ah!!! That’s what I miss the most…… Didn’t I tell you?... Men really are silly….. There I was, happy with a little paçoquinha or ice cream in my hands… pauvre petit garçon, while the girls fantasized about ruling the world when they became famous models, or played house, practicing how to manipulate their children and blackmail their husbands…lol, and while all that was going on in their heads, I repeat: I was all content and happy with a little paçoquinha in my innocent little fingers, smeared with sugar....
But anyway: we enjoyed all these privileges when we became adults—well-deserved for our immense effort and hard work!
Freedom, even if it came late!!!!!